The Adventures of… eyebrows

Anyone who knows me knows I don’t pay much attention to make up. I barely wear it. If I do, it’s because I feel like it, or am in the mood too. Anyone who knows me also knows I don’t really try very hard when it comes to “getting ready” or “grooming”. I have friends that spend hours in the bathroom, doing make up, hair, plucking eyebrows, waxing stuff, doing crazy, crazy things in the bathroom before work, school, church, coffee or whatever.

I don’t.

I get up. Wash my hair in the sink or take a shower. Brush my teeth, apply my men’s deodorant. Put clothes on and go.

If I do wear make up, I may put some eye shadow on, play with colors for a few minutes, line my eyes, apply mascara and be done. Maybe lip gloss, maybe not. Maybe foundation, but not always.

With that said, I recently have been in the mood to spruce up my grooming life a bit. I was up at like 2 am the other day thinking you know, I should spend more time looking nice. What to girls do when they look nice?? I wondered and wondered and then it occurred to me like a revelation! They PLUCK THEIR EYEBROWS!!

I got my eyebrows waxed waaaay over a month ago, but why pay 10+ dollars (not including tip) when I could be doing my eyebrows for free AND feeling more girlish- spending time in front of the mirror! So at 2 am, there I was plucking away! I was excited! I felt like an adult! THIS is what adult women do! They PLUCK their eyebrows!! 😀 enthralled, I plucked and I plucked and I plucked.

Realize, folks, that I DO NOT have eyebrows like this:


In fact, let me explain a little bit. My eyebrows are the one thing about my entire face that I dislike. Seriously. My eyebrows look more like I have two little dots where they start… and then nothing. They just thin out. And they’re lighter than my hair color.

So you can’t see them.

Now fast forward to when I finally set the tweezers down. I set them down, feeling so mature and adult-like and looked in the mirror- full face. my heart sank. I over-plucked. way over plucked. I mean, I went CRAZY over plucking. I had a blast WHILE I was plucking, I felt so adult because it didn’t even HURT!  My eyes didn’t even water! Maybe that has something to do with the 8 piercings and 2 tattoos I have, but whatever! It felt so good in the moment. For a moment. The horror and dread of my seemingly fun actions was lasting. 

What am I going to do??

I stood there. Frozen. Looking in the mirror. Not only were my eyebrows more light than they’ve ever been in my life, but they were misshaped. oh crap. I stood in the bathroom staring at my reflection. Laughing hysterically.

My brother’s wedding is this weekend. I’m supposed to be there. In it. Up front. With my eyebrows.

So I grabbed my handy dandy iPhone and shot my friend Amanda a text “Amanda! Are you awake?! What do i do with my eyebrows?” I sent her a picture.
She responded “What happened?! It looks like you got punched in the face! hahahaha!”I joined her laughter, walking back to the mirror in my bedroom I saw myself in a new light- The girl who got her eyebrows punched off! hahahahaa! I was rolling! Then I thought about my brother’s wedding again and my laughter stopped abruptly.
“What can I do??” I text her.
She finally advised me to get them drawn on. To go to Clinique or somewhere and ask someone there to show me how to doctor them.


So today I found myself at a Clinique counter. The lady seemed sweet enough and she was in her 60’s or 70’s. She asked me what she could do for me… looking seemingly distracted.
“Well, I would like to learn some about how to, um. doctor eyebrows”, I looked at her for her makeup wisdom. I didn’t have time to order my regular make up. I needed a quick fix. Now.
She took a long look at my face “Who got their hands on your eyebrows?” she asked.
I looked at her. Embarrassed.  “i did. I thought it would save money and make me feel responsible, like a real adult”.
She stifled a smile “oh, sweetie. Going to get your eyebrows waxed is an investment. Stick to that from now on…. ” she patted my arm, “however everyone needs a good eyebrows pencil”.
EYEBROW PENCIL?! They make those?! I was so excited. She showed me how to draw my eyebrows on and they look great! I may have to do it ALL The time!

Afterwards, I walked up to Tracey today, nervous. “What do you think of my eyebrows?” I asked. Afraid of the answer.
“Oh they look so good!! You got them drawn on?? I can’t tell!” she paused. “You know that’s going to wash off before the wedding, right?”
I looked at her and rolled my eyes “of course I know that, I got an eyebrow pencil!” I said with as much pride and dignity and adulthood I could muster. She looked at me and burst out laughing… “Well please come upstairs before you go out in public tomorrow…” she cackled.

Though tomorrow has not yet come and my eyebrow adventure is not yet complete, I’m proud that I have drawn on eyebrows that look fantastic. I’m going to parade them with dignity… even if I can’t do it just like the lady at the counter, I plan to ROCK it!!


About scarmich

A girl in her 20's looking at love, life, and laughter in the mundane.

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