Ramblings… Goals… Fun!

So I started writing a blog today about my traumatic tick experience. I had a tick on me earlier this week and the experience was so traumatic that I cannot bear to continue writing about it. I decided to start a completely new entry…

Enough about that. 🙂

As many of you are aware, I graduate on May 8 with my masters degree. Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I’ve applied for over 30 jobs and have been applying since November or December. I’m sure eventually someone will hire me and I’ll dazzle them with my internship skills that i’ve honed over the past year of being in internships…

Enough about that too.

Here are the things I have done, have been doing and want to do once I graduate:

Reading. Yes. Reading. I’ve read the Chronicles of Narnia series over the course of Christmas break and the beginning of my internship semester. I’ve also competed a murder mysteries recently that I found so compelling that I had to read. In addition, I started Harry Potter series this past week.

In other words, I want to read all the books that I’ve wanted to read, but haven’t had the time to read. I want to read classics, and try out different genres and… breathe them in. Enjoy them. Get lost in someone else’s world. Enjoy. it.

And I want to write.
Ironically, since I decided I wanted to write, it’s been very hard for me to write. Hard as in every single time I try to write something down or compose a blog post or a journal or some kind of poem… I’m left with writer’s block. And..I don’t write. I’m left looking at what i’ve written and trying to decide if my grammar really is that bad. Or if I need to buy a thesaurus, or a dictionary for crying out loud. I have become too critical of my writing and it’s making me not enjoy it. I want to ENJOY it.

I want to write a book.

I’ve been doing research for a book, but now that the book that i’ve ordered to do research has come in… all I want to do is read other things. I want to read harry potter, The Forgotten Garden, The Book Thief, The Circle Maker, The Giver, C.S. Lewis, Broken Harbor (murder mysteries, french author, lots of bad words, but good plots) and so much more. I want to read everything instead of what I should be reading to research.

I feel compelled to read everything rather than the books I should be reading for church.

Knit. I want to Knit. Regularly. At least 3 times a week. I miss knitting.

Exercise! I tried exercising today. As I did sit up after sit up, Watson (my puppy) was so confused and didn’t know what I was doing because it has been that long since I actually did anything. So he sat there, biting my hands and barking at me each time I sat up. What a little motivator he is. ❤ He’s my fur-cheerleader

I want to do things with friends. The old fashioned way. Make plans and go out to dinner. Ignore facebook (I’m back on) and phones. Just have fun.

Paint my toenails.

Wear dresses with petticoats.

Run a marathon.

Get my PhD. Yes. I feel crazy, but I love school. I never thought i’d say that. I think I might go back for PhD. Not talking about tomorrow or even next year. This is a long term goal that has a big “MAYBE” slapped across it. I’ve been really trying to do some soul searching and asking myself WHY I want to do this. Is it for the status? Is it for my career? Is it just because I want to or because I think I can? Is it the dissertation I want to write or the person I want to study under? Is it the subject? Is God leading me to do this or am I just… coming up with this? It’s been on my heart for the past year and a half. Maybe more. In Undergrad I was deadset against this “PhD?! Who would do THAT?!”

According to the programs I’m looking at it’s at least (if not more) 5 to 6 more years of school. I better find an amazing graduate assistantships or some kick-a$$ grants. Or maybe just tons of student loans. I’m cray.

Hike.

Sleep. Normally.

Read my bible more… and truly study it. I got a commentary for this purpose. It was disappointingly smaller than I expected.

Pray. More. pray harder. Pray. Just pray.

Be in a play. I love plays. I love cinemas too, but I love plays more. Going to the Cinema, you see people on the screen. You get a feel for how they think and their motives. But in a theatre, you see people… real, live people. You can SEE their snot and tears. you can FEEL their emotions. You can absorb. I like the power theatre has. I enjoy it

Travel Abroad. Go to another country. Do mission work. Help build orphanages. Talk to deaf people across the globe.

Work in ministry. I wish I could do that for a living. DO ministry. BE with people. GO on the streets. Hold peoples hands while they cry. Cry with people. Help bury their moms, and dads, and brothers and sisters. Sit in silence with them as the grieve. Give them skills (interview skills, cover letter skills, resume skills) they need to succeed. Educate on how to prevent HIV. Show them how to stay out of prisons. Be a light in the darkness. Where there are people who live out the depravity of humanity… Bring them to Jesus.

Not church.

JESUS.

They’re different. Totally different.

Those are long/short term goals.

We will see.

 

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About scarmich

A girl in her 20's looking at love, life, and laughter in the mundane.

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