It’s kind of hard to follow the last blog I wrote… but i was about to make this next spiel a facebook post and then realized that it’s so ridiculously long, it’s more like a blogpost.
So I’m copying pasting it into my blog, because a facebook status that ridiculous just needs to be pasted into a blog and then expanded. Plus, it’s almost 1:30 am. Here goes:
“I’ve always been a big fan of input and output. Putting in food and out putting exercise. However, recently I’ve not been exercising… Recently. In the past 6 months recently.
And since, I’ve noticed (other than weight gain) an impact on my health. I’m more emotional. I don’t handle stress as well. I’m tired all the time. I’m sluggish. It’s hard to sleep at night and hard to wake up in the morning. It’s hard to say “no” to sugar and sweets. I crave more. I used to crave salmon and sweet potatoes. Now I crave chocolate. I made black bean brownies last night and have eaten half the pan today.
I know I need to make a change.
However, the last few days, I have been trying to make an effort to pay more attention to Watson… be his best friend. And we’ve been going on walks in the afternoons when I get home. We used to go on walks for him to potty and smell things, but now we’re going on walks for more than 15 minutes. We’re actually walking and working up a sweat. I come upstairs and my legs (even after 30 mins of WALKING) are tired. I want a nap. I’m drained. But slowly and surely i’ve noticed that walking (a little exercise) is clearing my head up. I can think more clearly. The cobwebs are starting to ebb. This is good.
But i’m still not sleeping. I stay up till 12 or 1 and then wake up around 3 or 4.. and then wake up officially around 8:30. Every morning. I don’t sleep. I don’t rest. I dream about my day, my future, what I should be studying, what I did that day… At first I thought it was watson that was keeping me awake at night. he used to always get up around 3 or 4 to pee. But then I started cutting off his water supply around 8:30 or 9:00… and then while he stayed sleeping, I started waking up around 3 or 4 to pee. So I cut my water supply off too… and now I’m just waking up at 3 or 4… to exist. In the darkness. at night. When I should be enjoying shut eye.
So tonight…after writing this monologue… I’m praying for peace.. and I think peace will come when I exercise, because exercise puts my mind on Jesus. He’s our peace, King, and perfecter of our faith. I need Him. ”
(beginning quotes and end quotes… yes, that was my status.)