A Choice.

I thought I would share what I wrote in my journal last night. So I can remember it in more place than one.

Life is a thousand sorrows.

I see them in my impatience with the dog, the hurried snap of displeasure. I see them at the stop sign when I just want the person ahead to be brave and go. I see it in the way I gloss over people who ask “how are you?” because internally they long to be asked. They long to be really seen. I see it in my anger toward coworkers and frustrations toward family. Sorrows roll with me out of my thankless bed into my thankless day as I awake from restless, dissatisfied slumber.

A thousand sorrows trail behind my selfishness, laziness, cruel words, careless attitudes, impatience, forgetfulness, worry… sorrows upon sorrows. Day upon day. Moment upon moment.

Paradoxically, look closely enough to see that life is also… a thousand gifts.

Thankfulness that rises to the sky with a bright sun every morning. I see these gifts in the peanut butter I spread on morning toast and coffee I drink with a faint smile. I see them in the stranger’s eyes that light up with kind words given. I see them in  moments I stop to pet my puppy. When I choose love instead of impatience. When I trade frustrations for forgiveness, passiveness for hard work, hurried moments for tranquil time… I see blessings fall down with each sunset and rise with the lift of heavy weights. Gifts pour with sweat from exercise, because… I CAN. I see them in the car as tears flow to His Glory! I see them in the hands of small children who ask to pray, in innocent eyes that answer gnawing questions. Gifts shower me with shock as I read word upon word in exodus and weep for joy at the beauty of Israelite people being His, and Him being their God, worshiping day after day.

Every day. Every moment. A thousand gifts. Blessings. Smile. Love.

A choice.


About scarmich

A girl in her 20's looking at love, life, and laughter in the mundane.

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