My goal is to write once a week, but I feel a pressure to perform. I feel a pressure to write well. To make it good. To be deep. To use correct grammar. I read blogs almost every day. There are SEVERAL i follow. Many of you would be shocked how often I log into wordpress to read instead of write. I enjoy blogs. But today I am just so tired and I want to meet my writing goals and stop worrying about what other people think, so I think from now on I will just write what’s on my mind. It may be one time a week, or it may be three times a week. (run on sentence, I know. So what). No one has to read this, but I think my writing skills and my imagination and love of language will never improve if I don’t make it improve by… writing. And it’s fun to write for a pretend audience.
Do you ever feel haunted? Plagued by thoughts? You know, the type of thoughts that keep you up at night and that occur to you when you’re in your car, driving.. or that you find suddenly looking out the window at work contemplating? Those thoughts? I’ve had them a lot the past couple of weeks, but more recently. There are two different topics that haunt me right now: Comfort and Deception.
They aren’t that different from each other, but let me explain each separately.
People who are deceived don’t know they’re deceived. Ever notice that? It’s something i’ve thought about the past few days. Many people throughout the Bible, starting with Eve, have been deceived, believed what they were told and then sinned. Most people think, yeah, I know Eve sinned, so what? It wasn’t that Eve just SINNED, but it’s the fact that she separated herself from God, our creator. Our Father. Our Liberator. Our Friend… She separated herself from Him. Eternally. And instead of accepting Eternal Life and living in His freedom by following Him in obedience, she chose the delicious short-lived enjoyment of a fruit.
This HAUNTs me. I think about it all the time. I think about the times in my past life when I was seriously deceived and truly believed what was in my head and my heart. I have sincerely believed lies in my lifetime. With conviction.
Does that not scare you? It scares me. It makes me wonder where my heart is. It makes me wonder what else i’m being deceived in. It makes me want to pray, Lord, uncover things that are hidden, reveal things I do not know.
I don’t have scripture to back this up, because I haven’t researched it yet, but after the Thousand Year Millennial that Jesus comes and reigns… won’t there be people who get deceived?
people may say, Sara, you Know Him. You know Him. He knows You. No one can snatch you out of His hand.
No one thinks they’re going to get deceived. No one believes their convictions and beliefs are deceptions.
I’ve got to dig into His word, y’all.
And for now, i’m going to sleep and tomorrow or whenever, I will write about Comfort… and… continue to be haunted by that too.